Comments on: How To Talk Dirty http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty Official blog of Red Sweater Software Wed, 12 Nov 2014 14:28:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.1 By: Carolina S. http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-268489 Sat, 12 Nov 2011 03:43:09 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-268489 I waited a few days to post this because this subject is so infurating to me, I’d probably say things I’d regret.

The only thing that matters is if a presentation was adequate or not. It matters if it was professional or not.

In my opinion, just judging by the slides, it was poor… not because it had sexual references, but because it wasn’t funny at all. Pretty meh, if you ask me.

Now comes this female attendee feeling all offended BECAUSE she’s female and damn the sexist developer community?

EQUALITY FOR ALL… but treat me special cause I’m a chick?
Double-standards much?

About the presentation… it was either something to do again, or something to avoid, but NOBODY cares about your gender. It doesn’t matter, remember? That’s what not being sexist is all about.

Now if somebody complains BECAUSE they are female, THEY are the sexist ones. The vast majority of women I know are sexist, and they all complain about being “victims” of sexism, when THEY are the aggressors.

“No real man man would ever do that”…. “be a man”… “gotta learn how to talk to the ladies.”

How come there’s no “no real woman would ever do that” or “be a woman” or “gotta learn how to talk to the dudes.”

All the sexism I’ve ever witnessed, having lived on 3 continents, and experienced many cultures… is that, on “developed nations,” sexism is a weapon used against men, relentlessly, by women. If anybody complains, “look at the taliban, look at what they do to women.” You lose.

Keep that bullshit out of the developer community.
Want to be treated as respect? Don’t pull the gender card. That’s cheap and extremely unfair.

Reader, wanna see how sexist you are? I’m a female. Could you have guessed that?
The correct answer is: there was a 50%/50% chance.

All I ever see is “I’m a woman, treat me with equality,” then something goes wrong and it turns into “I’m a woman, give me a break” or “I’m a woman, do this for me /sexysmile.”

NOBODY would care if the person complaining were a man.

I am a straight woman. I like men. I do not like how other women emasculate men at every chance they get. I do not want men to check-in their balls at the door if I ever go to MacTech.

Still… the presentation was, at best, mediocre. Not the issue, though.

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By: Wilhelm Reuch http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-268198 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 16:20:30 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-268198 But why is it always women? And since when is women a minority group?

Why not make it easy … if it is announced as a developer conference open to anyone then it is plain rude to the visitors to have to deal with dick jokes or even sexist clip-art or whatever. If you feel the need to laugh – go to a comedy club and listen to professionals.

By allowing these kind of populistic speeches they are also disrespecting the more serious speakers and branding not only their own conference but the profession as a whole.

The conference mentioned in the article could simply have avoided this by declaring
that this was “a conference for mac developers that like to giggle at repeated dick jokes”. They would have done everyone a service by doing so. If bigotry comes out in the open it is easier to deal with.

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By: Adam R http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267878 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 23:38:21 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267878 @haineux

That’s a straw man. There’s a big difference between acting cordially toward your friends, and insisting on trying to remove any trace of edginess/fun from a presentation since, omg, perish the thought, someone in the audience might get offended.

Presentations on APIs are inherently boring. Good for Andy for trying to make it more interesting by talking about the api calls that sound dirty, but aren’t—like KnobThickness!

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By: haineux http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267857 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 23:04:33 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267857 Let’s consider a hypothetical situation: One of your colleagues, who is a good programmer, someone who’s (indirectly or directly) helped you in the past, is offended by something you say.

You have two choices:
1) Apologize, learn something, do better the in the future. Maybe even make some new friends because you’re less of an offensive jerk.
2) Tell them “Just get over yourself.” They never speak to you again. Good riddance.

Here’s the thing: Most people have this image of themselves as a badass programmer, who never needs help, who literally BEATS the compiler into doing their bidding.

Is that really true? If it were, why are you reading this blog? Shouldn’t you be carving optimized binary code directly into the surface of your hard drive with a BOWIE KNIFE?

After all, real programmers don’t need any help. At all. Ever.

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By: KahunaPig http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267782 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 20:24:53 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267782 I’m glad I’m an old guy and due to retire (think of Mad Men, Pan Am, etc.), but don’t make any jokes about old fat white guys, who aren’t with it, are old fossils, or what ever else, because I might be offended. Be offended by starvation still in our society, or 99% vs. 1%, or disfunctional governments, or wife beating, or child abuse, or a million other truely important things. But stupid tasteless jokes? Come on. Get up and walk out, as said above. Stop being all about “Me”.

BTW, I’ll be on a farm, out in the country, where I won’t be able to offend any of the so sensitive crowd. Boo hoo.

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By: emrys http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267749 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:22:40 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267749 If you are offended by content, then leave. If the content is important, then concentrate on it and ignore the chaff.

The world can be a hard place. Learn to cope!

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By: Paul http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267700 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 17:24:42 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267700 Personally, I am skeptical of the motives of most aspiring computer scientists, regardless of their genders. I assume that 90% want to be involved because it is “cool” and trendy, or because they believe they will make good money. In turn, the general population that this 90% comes from is conditioned to judge most everything in their lives on superficial grounds, mostly based on social identity and status. Only a small percentage of aspiring computer scientists understand the scope of and are interested in the actual subject matter. The rest will attempt to contort it to their narcissistic social identity needs, and that includes the so-called “geeks”.

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By: Nadia G. http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267679 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:27:00 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267679 That’s right, just don’t go if you are easily offended. And if they offend you in most places Engineers go, just become a housewife. How about “Ten Racist Words and How To Use Them”? Just don’t go if you don’t like racial jokes.

I went to VSLive even recently, and one of the speakers, Miguel Castro, shared this joke: “XAML is like a woman, no one can understand it.” Men looked around and stared at the two women present. The speaker continued: “What?! All men agree with me!” More laughter and staring. It’s difficult to offend me, and it didn’t, but isn’t this just a tad unprofessional?

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By: James Morris http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267673 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:11:57 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267673 “Ward, you’ve been a little rough on the Beaver lately.” Is this a simple comment that could have been made by the mother to the father regarding the father’s recent treatment of their youngest son on the classic television show “Leave It To Beaver” or could this be the dirtiest thing ever said on tv by a wife to her husband?

It is all where your mind takes you.

Without discussing gender issues and the appropriateness of topics, I will simply say:

If I were to see a conference topic titled “The Ten Dirty Words and How to Use Them” and I am easily offended by the possibility of double entendre and the potential of sexual jokes, I would not attend.

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By: Adam R http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/2266/how-to-talk-dirty/comment-page-1#comment-267653 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:30:23 +0000 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/?p=2266#comment-267653 I just wanted to say that Seth Bracken nailed it, and explained quite clearly why I’ve loved being in the software development industry for the past decade, and look forward to the next decade even more.

If you’re too thin-skinned to hear some dick jokes, then maybe this industry isn’t for you. I know plenty of incredibly intelligent women who wound’t be offended in the least by such silliness. For all the other, easily offended women out there, well, go become business analysts or something.

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