What does it mean for a project to be alive? I’m adopting a definition of life that is roughly “as freaking close to original functionality as possible.” That means the application needs to be launchable. It needs to perform its advertised purpose. Ideally, a project in “life support” should be less than a week away from “shippable” at any time.

The bad news? To maintain this standard, you might put up a ton of scaffolding code today to keep the application alive, only to tear it down in a few days when the complementary structures in another part of the application have been comparably revised. Some would argue that it’s better to bid farewell to the life of the application, and commit to a dark period of zero functionality while everything is redesigned and/or ported to the desired specification. This would certainly make for less “throwaway” code, but an unfamiliar, non-functioning application scares the living daylights out of me.

Clean Code In A Strange Land

Back to the specific project at hand. You’ll recall that during triage, I discovered some cool Objective-C hacks that allowed me to fix the heinous crashing bugs on Intel, while leaving essentially the entire Java code base unchanged. This trick relied on a basic truism of the Cocoa-Java runtime: calling methods on Java objects from Objective-C is relatively easy, while calling back to Objective-C from Java is not.

To call a Java class method from Objective-C, you look up the class by name, and send it a message that will, by convention, map to an associated Java class method. When the Java class you’re messaging is in fact a subclass of a Cocoa class, the messaging can feel extremely natural. For instance, assuming you’ve got a Java-based Preferences Window controller, this is how you might message it to show its window, from an Objective-C based class:

Class theClass = NSClassFromString(@"PrefsController");
NSWindowController* myPrefs = [theClass sharedInstance];
[myPrefs showWindow:self];

Going the other direction, from Java to Objective-C, requires compiled-in bridge code. Much of the Cocoa frameworks from around the 10.2 era is represented in the bridge code provided by Apple. Everything else, including any custom Objective-C classes you’ve written, would require new bridge code to be generated and linked in to your application. This is apparently still possible, using Apple’s unsupported and poorly documented “bridget” tool. Personally I didn’t want to touch it. The idea here is to eventually get rid of the Java code completely, so I don’t want to waste a lot of time making it easier for it to stick around.

So here’s my approach: pragmatically move stuff from Java to Objective-C, keeping in mind that everything I move “up” must not be depended on by any other Java code. For example, if I move the Preferences controller from Java to Objective-C, then no longer can any Java code say “PrefsController.sharedInstance().showWindow(this)”. So deciding how to proceed will require at least some sense of the dependencies between the various Java classes in my project.

I was hoping there might be a nifty way of automatically gathering this information from Apple’s class diagram tool in Xcode, but it turns out not to be as entirely useful as I’d hoped. I used a combination of its member variable information, combined with some brute-force global text searches, to roughly plot out a list of all classes, and the Java-based classes that they depended upon. For instance my Java-based application delegate depended upon the Java-based document class, which depended on several Java-based model classes. So I can’t really port the document or model classes to Objective-C, but I can port the delegate, because no other Java code links directly to it.

The idea is to look for “childless nodes” in the class hierarchy, and decide whether it is pragmatic to port them no or later. As classes are migrated up from Java to Objective-C, it reduces the amount of Java code in the project, while keeping the application functionally identical to its former self.

The Objective-Java Chimera

Obviously things are never quite so simple. In a real project, dependencies between classes never fall into a perfect tree structure where one can simply pluck classes one-by-one from the top of the tree. In some cases, two classes might mutually depend on one another, in which case it would make sense to port both of them to Objective-C in one fell swoop. Or maybe the vast majority of a class is not dependent on Java, but one small component is. It might make sense to port the class with the caveat that things will not be completely functional, for a short period. The application isn’t dead! It might be wheezing, but it still basically works.

I came up with a technique which I found pretty useful, especially for some of the largest classes in the project. What if a class is half dependent on Java, and half not? It would be great to be able to port just the half of the class that can make it to Objective-C, while postponing the rest for later. Using a “Chimera” object that is conceptually part Java and part Objective-C, I was able to achieve this monstrous goal.

I applied the technique first to a custom NSView subclass, because I observed a slowness in drawing that I guessed might be sped up by minimizing the amount of cross-bridge messaging and structure conversion that going on every time the view was drawn. In any case, I knew I was not confident about applying Shark measurements to a Java class, and would have a much easier time fine-tuing the performance if all drawing was done in Objective-C. The custom view in this case was a major piece of the application, though. It had its hooks into the model code, and other classes had their hooks into it. And it was relatively huge. It made a great candidate for the Chimera technique.

The technique depends on Objective-C’s ability to forward messages a class doesn’t implement to another class. So for most practical purposes, an Objective-C class can “wrap” another class such that clients of the class think all the work is being done by the wrapper. In this case, we want to sneak a new CustomView class in to the runtime, where the nib file will unarchive and automagically contain an instance of our view instead of the old Java one. Then we’ll fulfill the contract of the old view class, both by implementing our own methods and by dispatching to it when necessary. Simplifying the situation somewhat, converting a Java class to a Chimera class involves the following steps:

1. Rename the Java class to something new. For instance, “CustomView” becomes “JavaCustomView.”
2. Create a new Objective-C class, named after the original. In this case, “CustomView.m” is our new source file.
3. Implement message-forwarding methods. These are where the magic happens.

That’s the skeletal Chimera. Now you can add whatever methods you like in ObjC and they will automatically take precedence over the Java equivalents. You can even rename the Java equivalents if appropriate, and partly implement methods in ObjC. For instance, you could implement “awakeFromNib” such that it first called the Java class’s “javaAwakeFromNib” and then proceeded to do whatever Objective-C based setup was appropriate.

So which are the “message-forwarding methods” that you need to implement? In my experience, it’s important to implement respondsToSelector:, methodSignatureForSelector:, and forwardInvocation:. In each case, you’ll want to dispatch to the underlying Java object, but only when appropriate. To have an instnce of the Java object around, you’ll need to add code that, at init time and awakeFromNib time, respectively, instantiates and configures the underlying class. You may also need to do some patching up of IBAction connections or whatnot. The fine-tuning will all be very application-specific.

The idea for the “responds to” and “method signature” methods is you want to return the union of your Objective-C class functionality and the Java class functionality. So first ask your superclass to handle the method, and then only if the result is NO or nil, pass-through to the Java class for further inquiry. The forwardInvocation method will only be reached if nothing in your class could handle the method, so you can just blindly pass these through to the Java class, if it will take them.

To make this work, you have to manage the dependencies between the two halves of the Chimera. For instance, it might make sense to maintain redundant copies of the IBAction outlet variables, so that both sides of the world have access to “outside the class” dependencies. A pitfall is you might end up storing data in one half of the Chimera and not realizing that the other half is still trying to depend on it. I never said this wasn’t going to be messy, but it gets the job done.

Applying this technique essentially opens the doors wide to staging the port. You can carefully port parts to Objective-C while keeping the application alive. You’ve got a full-fledged Objective-C class to pass around in “clean land,” while Java objects continue to operate as necessary on the Java subset of the class.

A Healthy Outlook

In the next and final installment of this series, I’ll talk about the grunt-work of actually going the final mile, and what we gain by getting there. Porting all those Java classes to Objective-C is fairly easy work, but it’s tedious. I came up with some tricks that might affect your approach in attacking a similar problem.

Unfortunately, Apple has all but abandoned the technology. The implications for developers are that Cocoa-Java applications cannot easily adopt new APIs, are mysteriously buggy, and are not easily maintained with the latest versions of Xcode. In short, they are a mine-field of opportunities for disappointment and despair.

Nonetheless, I decided to buy a Cocoa-Java application, after looking through the existing sources and making best and worst-case scenario predictions. The previous owner had already disclosed some nuanced issues with running on Intel Macs, so I knew there would be some work before I could ship it in good faith. The amount of work would range from “a few hacks to get it working on Intel as Cocoa-Java” to “a complete rewrite in Objective C.” I planned to port to Objective C eventually, but I hoped to be able to put the product on the market soon with just a few tweaks to make it robust on Intel. Then I could port to Objective C at my leisure while counting all the money.

Now that I’m 95% done with the process of getting the application into shape, I’m ready to start writing about it. I hope that by explaining the process of evaluating and overcoming obstacles in the process of doing this port, it will establish a reference for others who are stuck doing the same kind of work. I expect there will be many Cocoa-Java parts in the months to come, as support for the legacy technology continues to diminish. Hopefully some of the wisdom I have earned will come in handy for others.

Evaluate The Source Base

The first thing you’ll want to do in approaching any port is to look closely at the existing source files. You don’t need to completely understand what everything does, you just need to see it and take away an impression. At this stage the style and organization of the content should pose as much interest to you as the raw technical functionality. For example, is the object hierarchy conducive to a typical Cocoa design? Is the code well-commented? Does the code exploit language specific features being that will be difficult to replicate in the target language?

In my case the code is well-written, well-commented, and since it’s Cocoa-Java, it already conforms more or less to a conventional Cocoa way of doing things. Lucky me! Nice purchase, Daniel. The only part of the project that doesn’t directly translate to Objective-C is the notion in Java of a class that “extends Thread.” There is no Objective-C class representation of a “thread,” so this would obviously take some modest reorganization. But the use of threads was not extensive, so I did not get scard off.

It doesn’t hurt that Java and C are such close siblings, any amount of porting that does need to be done will retain much of its syntactic appearance. In particular, when porting Cocoa-Java to Cocoa-ObjC, probably 80% of the work will fall into two broad categories of concern:

1. Convert syntax().like().this() to [[syntax like] this].
2. Pay attention to memory management.

The syntax point is a simplification, but really a lot of it could be ported by trained monkeys, or better yet, regular expressions. Anyway, I’ll talk more about this in a later segment, but suffice to say that the work of straight porting from Java classes to Objective-C classes can be tedious, but is eminently doable.

Build And Run

Realistically, this step was probably the first thing you did in evaluating the sources. You’ve got the Xcode project staring right back at you, how can you resist at least trying? The great news is that my product built and run flawlessly, from the minute I unpacked the source archives and installed them on my Mac. The bad news goes back to those aforementioned “subtle Intel problems.” Specifically? Crash on print. Crash on window zoom. Ouch.

The crashes in either case point to the Cocoa-Java bridge. An infuriatingly cryptic backtrace essentially lets me know that Cocoa-Java was trying to print some log message (perhaps explaining why it was about to crash?) when it bit the dust:

#0  0x90a53387 in objc_msgSend ()
#1  0xbfffe250 in ?? ()
#2  0x908103a2 in _CFStringAppendFormatAndArgumentsAux ()
#3  0x9080ec8c in _CFStringCreateWithFormatAndArgumentsAux ()
#4  0x925e2a5d in -[NSPlaceholderString initWithFormat:locale:arguments:] ()
#5  0x92604670 in -[NSString initWithFormat:arguments:] ()
#6  0x9672d308 in _BRIDGELog ()
#7  0x9673305d in _BRIDGEMethodImpStructReturn ()
#8  0x93519c6e in -[NSWindow _standardFrame] ()
#9  0x93732d7c in -[NSWindow zoom:] ()
#10 0x9335cd88 in -[NSApplication sendAction:to:from:] ()
#11 0x9335cce1 in -[NSControl sendAction:to:] ()
#12 0x9335ee91 in -[NSCell _sendActionFrom:] ()
#13 0x9335e94c in -[NSButtonCell performClick:] ()
#14 0x97723a6b in Java_com_apple_cocoa_application_NSWindow_performZoom ()

Searching the web for help on this failure was pretty fruitless. I downloaded some other applications that I knew to be Cocoa-Java based, and they didn’t crash on zoom. So what’s the deal? What is my involvement in this problem. Through hard work and luck, I narrowed both crashing problems down to a pretty simple thesis:

“Cocoa-Java will crash on Intel if Cocoa asks Java to return an NSRect.”

It might be overstating the case, but those are the two crashing cases in my application. I suspect there is a byte swapping problem or something. If you return an NSRect, you will crash. Sad story, but fixable. The two method calls in question for me are NSWindowController’s “windowWillUseStandardFrame:defaultFrame:” and NSView’s “rectForPage:”.

Keep It Running

I went to the auto parts store a few months back, around the beginning of autumn. My car had been running hot, and on the verge of overheating all through the summer. I brainstormed with the clerk about what might be wrong, and we finally agreed that it is probably a problem with my thermostat, but could be a problem with the radiator itself. Fine, it’s settled. I’ll replace the thermostat first. But even this involves draining the radiator, perhaps removing it, and a lot of other messy stuff. The shop clerk looked outside at the chilling weather and asked me a few pointed questions: “How old is this car?” “Do you drive it a lot?”, etc. After hearing my responses of “pretty old,” and “not too much,” he gave his pragmatic verdict: “It’s not gonna overheat in wintah, and who knows if it will even run in the spring?”

The point being, it’s not always the right time to do the right thing. I’m confident that that my Cocoa-Java NSRect crashes will disappear if I port the application to Objective C. But can I get away with patching the rough spots today? Moreover, won’t my customers (existing customers of this application) benefit from having the Intel problem solved sooner, rather than later? I decided to attack the problem of crashing NSRect across the bridge.

My first thought was to try to gauge exactly why it crashes. If it’s truly a byte-swapping issue, I could detect the fact that I’m running on Intel, and perhaps massage the data to suit the bridge. The major downside to an approach like this is you’re now at the mercy of Apple leaving the bug in place. In the unlikely event that Apple shows the bridge some love, and fixes the crash, where does that leave me? Now I’m byte-swapping myself into the same crash some ways down the road.

The solution I came up with is simple albeit somewhat of a hack. It’s the duct tape around the muffler, if you will. If you think about the crashing problem with returning an NSRect, an obvious solution would be for Java to not return an NSRect. To work around this problem, I modified the affected Java classes to return NSString instead of NSRect:

public String javaSafeStandardFrame(theWindow, defaultFrame)
public String javaSafeRectForPage(pageNumber)

Now the program doesn’t crash. Of course, it doesn’t zoom or print correctly, either. The problem of course is that Cocoa doesn’t know to call these “javaSafe” versions of the methods, and even if it did, it wouldn’t know to expect a string in return.

This is where the hacking comes in to play. The fact that I’m working with a Cocoa-Java project doesn’t mean I can’t also have Objective-C classes in my project. In fact, at runtime the majority of classes in memory are Objective-C, coming from Apple’s frameworks. What’s to keep me from selectively implementing some classes of my own to help soothe this problem? Using a custom class and the powerful technique of class posing, I’m able to effectively patch out standard versions of the above methods, and replace them with code that calls through to Java, gets a string representation of the rect, and converts it to NSRect for the benefit of Cocoa. Since the NSRect is now returned from Objective C, there’s no more crash. In my main.m source file:

[RectSafeWindowController poseAsClass:[NSWindowController class]];

And in my custom NSWindowController implementation:

- (NSRect)windowWillUseStandardFrame:(NSWindow *)theWindow defaultFrame:(NSRect)newFrame
{
  // Your java class instead of "JavaController"
  Class myJavaClass = NSClassFromString(@"JavaController")
  if ([self isKindOfClass:myJavaClass])
  {
    NSString* goodRectString = [self javaSafeStandardFrame:theWindow :newFrame];
    return NSRectFromString(goodRectString);
  }
  else if ([super respondsToSelector:@selector(windowWillUseStandardFrame:defaultFrame:)])
  {
    return [super windowWillUseStandardFrame:theWindow defaultFrame:newFrame];
  }
  else
  {
    // Just return the default
    return newFrame;
  }
}

A similar approach was used in the NSView override of rectForPage.

Take Stock

Now that my application builds and runs without crashing, it’s time to ship it, right? Possibly, but in this case I chose not to. Although the application has a mature feature set and benefits from years of evolutionary design, it has become a little bit dated in some ways that I grew increasingly uncomfortable with.

Now that the application is running crash free, I can breathe a sigh of relief. I could ship this thing, but I choose not to. I want to be prudent about what I change for the “1.0 relaunch,” but there are some nuances of the appearance and performance that need tweaking. And to comfortably tweak those things, I’m going to have to selectively port some of the Java classes to Objective C. But after all that hard work getting the application to “shippable,” I want to be careful not to backslide too much. Tune in next time for a detailed look at migrating Java classes to Objective C without disrupting the overall functionality of the application.

Continue reading – Step 2: Life Support.

But what if “not Intel” means AMD? I don’t know enough about the embedded market to even know whether AMD makes compelling chips for such purposes. (But my dad might).

Could Apple be hush-hush about the chips because they’re using the iPhone as a relationship-starter with AMD?

Virtualization is technology, rumored to be present in the forthcoming 10.5 release of Mac OS X, that would allow Windows applications to run natively and transparently in the Mac environment. Paul’s thoughtful analysis reveals that Mac users will benefit because of the increased flexibility, and Windows developers will benefit because of the new potential market. Where does that leave Mac developers? I definitely think Apple should spend at least a few hundred thousand dollars researching this on our behalf. Protect us, Apple! Still, the threat of Windows developers suddenly having access to our customers doesn’t scare me too much.

Such an outcome wouldn’t increase the competition so much as the noise. Look at the situation today on the Mac. It’s relatively easy (in my not-so-humble, unproven opinion) to identify products on the market that can be vastly improved upon, put in the hours to build a better solution, and market it directly to the customers. The problem even today is not “being better than the competition,” but reaching the customers who give a damn about your being better. This basic rule won’t change with an influx of new developers.

Take some popular class of application as an example: the 2D vector art editor application. There are at least 10, probably 100 of these apps available on the Mac, and they range in quality from developer examples like Sketch to expensive commercial apps like Illustrator.

Of these 10 or 100 existing apps on the Mac today, I’m guessing from my experiments that only about 2 or 3 are actually really useful. Therefore the competition pool is only 2 or 3 products, regardless of how much noise there is.

Now with virtualization we’d probably get 1 or 2 additional “really useful” apps, although their usefulness would probably be diminished by their Windows-esque UI. Anyway we’d also get probably 10-times as many “non-competitors.” More noise. These products attract users’ attentions but don’t ultimately satisfiy them. So they make it harder for the user to identify your working product.

On a side-note, one could consider the opening up of Mac OS X to linux/unix as a test-run of such a strategy. Essentially for the past 5 years, Linux developers have had open access to the vast installed base of Mac users, but they haven’t made much headway in driving Mac developers out of business. I think it’s reasonable to assume that if Mac users are not interested in free alternatives that don’t cut muster, then they will be even harder to woo with paid ones.

Bottom line? Optimistically I think that better products will win. The problem is cutting through the noise, and technology seems to be on our side. The growing popularity of blogs and “peer editorializing” seems like a natural match for promoting quality products and thereby elevating them from among the noisy ineffective ones. To the Mac developer’s advantage, there are already complex systems in place for distributing Mac propaganda. The online news sites and download trackers that many Mac users frequent are going to be hesitant to embrace and recommend lackluster Windows software – because they themselves are Mac users who know the benefits of native software.

Even if we assumed that the best Windows developers could acquire Mac style, and truly understood what Mac users want, their Windows apps will always be at a disadvantage on the Mac platform. The trend from Apple is increasingly to differentiate Mac OS X by adding technologies with a system-wide impact. Spotlight integration, for instance, will likely not come for free with a “virtualized” Windows app. Furthermore, the development tools and APIs from Apple are getting more and more powerful all the time, in ways that are precisely tuned to work well with differentiating features of Mac OS X. It wouldn’t just be difficult for Windows developers to try to compete with this, it would be a colossal waste of their time!

It’s easy for me to be cavalier about this because I don’t yet make my living from direct software sales, but I’m inclined to think that Windows developers, with their platform-inappropriate styles and habits, will have a hard time competing against Mac developers – even the worst of us.

Bring on the crappy software! It can only make ours shine brighter.

It is with a great sigh of relief that I announce the likely end of my MacBook Pro saga.

As recently as a few weeks ago, I expected that the end of this saga would take the form of finding a buyer on Craigslist to take the thing off my hands, but events turned in a more positive direction as I patiently worked my way through the Apple support system.

Eventually I ended up in the hands of a thoughtful representative with a lot of discretion over how best to handle my situation. The amount of bad luck I had endured really accumulated over the past few months. The defects themselves. The repeated failures to fix them. The bad Apple store rep. The slightly mutilated MBP case. Oh, I might have forgotten to mention that. On my last repair shipment, the techies must have put it back together in a hurry, as they left a gap in the case where it meets the DVD-ROM area. I mentioned this in passing to one rep, where it was apparently added to my record.

Finally, after apparently reviewing the list of everything wrong with the Mac and my experiences so far with Apple, the representative offered to send me a replacement. I was wary, at first. Just go through this all again? I’d rather have somebody good at Apple take an honest look at it and replace the parts that are busted. But then I heard rumors of the new MacBook Pro logic board, and couldn’t help but hope that this meant a happy outcome was in sight. I asked my Apple representative if a replacement would be “fresh off the line.” I didn’t want some replacement from March or April, that happened to be sitting in some Cupertino stockpile (as if). He could only say that they tended to be shipped out as fast as they could be made. So I agreed – let’s spin the wheel.

The new MacBook Pro arrived this morning and what can I say? The thing is dead silent. You can trust me, I know what the freaking pain sounds like. Yes Virginia, there is a quiet MacBook Pro. Impressively, I could not even hear a noticeable sound difference with my ear pressed up to the machine while tweaking the slider on QuietMBP. Actually, after plugging the power in I can hear the slightest “sizzle” if I put my ear to the plug where it’s plugged in. And this might be only while it’s charging. Anyway I don’t think it’s loud enough for me to hear from any normal distance, and I bet this amount of sound is present in almost any laptop, ahem, notebook. So after months of negativity it feels good to return to my initial state of just being impressed with the MacBook Pro. Just about everything is “amazingly right.”

Even the surface temperature is slightly cooler than my old MBP. I’m transferring over from the old one right now, so both machines have been turned on the same length of time, and roughly (I assume) doing the same amount of activity. The old MBP’s “hottest spot” (above the function keys) is still so hot that I cannot leave my fingers there for more than a few seconds. The new one is still hot there, but I can leave my finger there indefinitely. Major improvement, even if ideally they could cool things down even more. To be honest, the heat is still frustrating, especially in the summer, but if it’s just the heat, then I’ll shut my whining mouth for a while.

I know at least some of you have been holding off on a new MacBook Pro because of things I’ve said about them here. I’m happy to have helped you avoid a costly and possibly frustrating mistake. But I don’t want Apple to lose customers, goodwill, or sales. I’m a stock holder, for crying out loud! Now that I can happily endorse this (please, nothing go wrong in the next few days), I say get out your credit card and join us!

Update: I’ve been using the new MBP for several hours and my inital impressions are holding up. It’s quiet as a mouse. I love it! But just to show that I’m not completely devoid of crankiness, I have two minor complaints. First, the space bar makes a slight squeaking noise every time I press it. This is definitely new, but it’s so much nicer than the whine. Maybe I can fix it with a little well-placed graphite or something. Second, the lid closes in a way such that unlatching it is slightly clunky. I have to sort of press the button in extra far to get it to pop open. Overall, very minor inconveniences. How minor? There’s no way in hell I’ll risk ruining the happy state of my MBP right now by bringing it in for these teeny issues.

Anybody who’s been following my MacBook Pro saga knows that I’ve had plenty to complain about over the past few months. Heck, I’m sick of hearing me complain. This entry is a compromise: I’ll both complain and rejoice about a few Apple employees I have had the pleasure and displeasure of working with over the past couple weeks.

Part 1: Good Apple

After the disappointment of sending my MBP in for repair, being without it for a week and a half, and then getting it back only to discover that nothing had been fixed, I was reluctant to send it in again. I ended up getting in touch with AppleCare again and ultimately being referred to Apple Customer Relations, which is a great service Apple provides for customers who “fall through the cracks” of ordinary customer care. Basically when you have a bad enough experience, they assign a customer relations person to keep an eye on your case and work with you through (hopefully) an ultimately positive resolution.

Apple Customer Relations is awesome! From the first call with my agent, she made it clear she was listening to me and understood my concerns. There were still very clear boundaries. No, Apple wasn’t going to send me a new computer. No, there are no loaners while the machine is in for repair. No, Steve Jobs will not take me to Disneyland. But within those boundaries she worked with me to try to find compromises that might make my life easier. She never questioned the legitimacy of my complaints (part of this is because they are not technically trained, but part of this is clearly because it’s bad business to tell your complaining customers that they are wrong).

I’m still so frustrated about the whole ordeal with my MacBook Pro, but the fact is, Apple is still talking to me. Apple is still trying to help. They are a big company and as such have secret support agendas, and have to avoid admitting when something is wrong even if they know it. Etc., etc., etc. But the are many, many companies where somebody with my number and severity of complaints would simply fall off the end of the support line. We’re sorry. Goodbye. I am at every step of the way afraid that I may be near the end of my support rope, but so far Apple has surprised me with their willingness to keep talking and acting. (While I’m handing out kudos, another company I’ve dealt with recently, TomTom, has excellent support on par with Apple’s).

When I spoke with my Customer Relations representative on May 23 (two days after my birthday!), I agreed to try bringing my computer into the local Apple Store. The idea was that instead of making me wait for the shipping to and from Texas for another round of repairs, I would bring it into the store where a capable technician could do most if not all of the part swapping that a specialist in Texas might do. I was skeptcial, but it was worth a shot. She comforted me by letting me know that she would be watching the progress and follow up with me about the results of the experience.

I wanted to avoid giving up my laptop for another week or more, so I went for it. I decided it was worth it to go along with this idea because it was virtually risk-free, and the time it would take to zip over to the Apple store was much less than the time it takes waiting for DHL to arrive, transit time, etc.

Part 2: Bad Apple

The worst part of any customer support ordeal is the stress of wondering whether you’ll make yourself clear. Whether they’ll respond politely to you. Whether they’ll understand what’s really going on. And whether they’ll actually agree with you that it needs to be fixed.

I took a deep breath on the afternoon of May 24, mentally prepared to make my case as convincingly as possible. The Apple store is the worst place in the world to complain about noise problems, because the blasting music makes every single machine in the store sound absolutely dead silent. (For any noise complaint, they take your machine into the back room where you can’t demonstrate to them how the noise varies or under what circumstances it most affects you). I knew I was up against a tough challenge, but I tried to be optimistic that I would get a Good Apple.

I checked in at the Genius Bar and waited with my buzzer. This was cool. It’s like waiting for a meal at Chevy’s or something. It went off in just a few minutes after I had arrived. So far, so good! Nice work, Apple Store. I met my “Genius,” who greeted me with a sort of contemptuous glare combined with a saccharine mumble of “What can we do for you today?” I explained that I had been sent by customer relations, that there were a few problems of varying priorities, and that the machine had already been sent in once for repair. I sort of waited for him to make the next move, expecting that he might want to glance at my record in his computer, since it showed a lot more information than I could reliably reiterate all at once. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?” he said sort of impatiently.

OK, I plopped my MBP down on the counter and opened it up. I began explaining that I was most surprised that at least the brightness-related buzzing wasn’t fixed, because it’s pretty well-established that this is due to an inverter board problem. As I was talking he acted like I wasn’t there, and raised his black bic pen towards my computer. Using the ink-side tip of the pen, he reached into a corner of my screen’s display and flicked out a piece of dust or something. What are you doing to my computer, you freak?! I paused and when he was done sort of continued explaining. He seemed pretty bored. He finally said something along the lines of what did I expect for being on the “bleeding edge?” I put bleeding edge in quotes because it’s the only part I can guarantee was verbatim a quote from his mouth. He basically echoed that lame user sentiment that you “get what you pay for” when you choose to buy an early rev product. An Apple representative! Telling me that I was on his company’s bleeding edge!

I got a little bit emotional because, after working so many years at Apple, I hate seeing Apple store employees behave in a way that reflects poorly on the company. I explained to him (probably to his great boredom) that I didn’t feel like it was appropriate to classify me (and thousands of others) who made early, strong commitments to Apple’s new architecture as “bleeding edge.” Needless to say he didn’t see the error of his ways at all and insisted that you’ve got to expect a few things to be wrong in a first revision of a machine.

That was the beginning of a relationship that only went downhill. He finally agreed to take my MBP into the “back room” to listen to the noises for himself. He came back and announced that “there’s nothing wrong with the inverter and the CPU whine is within spec.” He handed me my MBP and sort of waited for me to leave, I suppose. I wanted more clarification. Nothing wrong with my inverter? Didn’t you hear the noise? He said that there was no inverter noise and what I was hearing was the CPU whine coming from different sides of the computer. Well, that’s totally inconsistent with my understanding of the inverter noise. Since it goes away and comes back with the brightness, I had to assume it’s inverter-related. In my pessimism I had more-or-less expected the CPU whine complaints to be dismissed, but the inverter noise! I know people who have had this one fixed! At least fix this, Apple. You know how, even!

Another minute or two of trying to get him to agree that we were talking about the same thing. I suggested that maybe I needed to let the machine warm up before the noise is loud enough. It’s difficult because, as I said I’m trying to get him to acknowledge unacceptable noises while Gwen Stefani is blaring on the stereo. He agrees that if I want to “hang out for 20 or 30 minutes” then he’ll listen again after it warms up.

Speaking of warming up, I thought I’d ask about the heat issue before I lost his attention, and that lasted all of about 15 seconds. “If the MBP gets too hot, it will shut down. If it’s not shutting down, there’s nothing wrong with it.” Well, that’s an interesting way of looking at it. Let’s say the maximum heat is 100C. By the Apple Store’s logic that means my computer can be at 99C all the time, while somebody else’s machine is at 60C all the time. We’re both “in spec,” but my hands are forming heat blisters.

So I hang out for 20 or 30 minutes, and then go back to the podium. While I’m waiting another MBP owner comes in, and starts chatting with another Genius. He’s complaining about the heat. The Genius he got is a lot more friendly and explains that unfortunately they can’t do any testing here in the store. They would have to send it away for testing, and that would take a week or two. The customer seemed somewhat satisfied by the response, thanked the Genius, and left the stoer.

I hang out for another 15 minutes or so while he refuses to acknowledge that I’m there. Finally, when another Apple Store employee asks if I’m being helped, I say that I’m “just waiting for him to have a free moment.” Five minutes later he is back in the “quiet room” (who knows how quiet even that room is) with my MBP.

He emerges. Hands me my MBP, and declares, “Both I and a coworker agree that the noise is within spec.” OK. You and a coworker. So this was a hint to me that the “spec” might be a subjective test. I tried to ask whether there was some mechanical test they perform, or whether it’s just based on their own personal hearing. He looked at me sternly and said “I can’t tell you, OK. I’m sorry.” He had a habit of saying “OK” habitually in that patronizing way, almost like the “mmkay” guy on South Park.

All this time I had been on my best behavior. I really tried to avoid calling him on his rudeness and refusal to listen carefully to my complaints. But now that the end was nigh I took the opportunity to give a little rant about how I didn’t think the machine as-is meets the criteria of a professional, $2500 machine. I complained that if Apple’s spec allows user problems to be dismissed so cavalierly, then it was a real shame for the company and its customers. At this point a quiet young woman who had been sitting at the Genius Bar for a few minutes turned to me and said empathetically, “I had six stuck pixels. They said the limit was 7.”

I commiserated with the woman for a minute and wished her luck. At least she has a number to be angry about. I just got an arrogant jerk who can’t even convince me that he understands what the problems with my machine are, let alone if or why they are “within spec.”

Part 3: Good Apple

My visit to the Apple Store almost ruined my day. I went to the store straight after picking up one of my best friends from San Francisco, who was in town for a few days. The last thing I wanted was to put a damper on his visit just because my crappy computer was never going to be repaired. He is a Mac fanatic and was just excited by the fact that we’d been in the Apple Store long enough that he’d authored a blog entry in the time he was waiting. “My first blog entry written in the Apple Store!” he said proudly as he shut his (quiet, cool, lovely) iBook G4 up and packed it in his bag.

I wasn’t looking forward to my next call with customer relations. As nice as she was, she had hinted that if the Apple Store decides there’s nothing wrong, then there might be nothing she could do. I had built myself up over the past few months to perhaps ultimately have to live with some flaws, but the screen buzzing was definitely not one of them. Pizza for dinner and watching episodes of The Office made things quite a bit better. I didn’t even take the MBP out of its case.

The next day, I got a voice mail on my cell phone while I was at the gym. It was my customer relations agent, and she sounded concerned. “I just wanted to check in because I’m looking at your case and I don’t see any repair ticket. I hope everything went OK at the store yesterday.” I called her back on Friday but got her machine. I said I was disappointed with just about every outcome of the store visit. Both the treatment from the “Genius” and the ultimate outcome. At this point I figured it might be the end of the road, so I said “I guess I might be out of luck, but call me back if you want to hear more about my experience at the store.”

Several days passed. It was Memorial Day weekend and all that. I was pretty sure I would hear from her again, but also slightly concerned that maybe that was it. Today she called and asked how I was doing. “I’m doing pretty good,” I said. I always say that because in reality, I am doing pretty good. The MBP can’t take that away from me! She asked me to tell her what happened at the store. So I basically told her everything that I’ve typed in this blog entry, minus the part about pizza and The Office.

To my great satisfaction, she agreed that the store employee had behaved inappropriately. I guess if nothing else, the fact that I got a turd for a Genius may have helped me gain some empathy from the relations agent. She offered to go back to “Plan B” which is me sending the machine back to Texas for another round of repairs. At this point I’m exhausted, don’t want to see another Genius for a long time, and would really like to have that buzzing fixed. If the whine doesn’t get fixed, I’ll just have to come to some compromise of running QuietMBP and losing battery life. But the buzzing, and if at all possible, the heat. Those fixed would be effing fantastic! As my frustration has risen over this whole affair, my expectations have plummeted accordingly.

She explained that she was going to transfer me to a “product specialist” who is a kind of hardcore customer service agent who works specifically with a particular kind of machine (I think). They want me to talk to him so he can get very specific concrete details into the problem report, and so he can trigger an “engineering seizure” of the machine if it sounds like it will be useful as a case study. She again assured me that she’ll be following the progress of the repair.

The product specialist was polite and empathetic. He also seemed to know what he was talking about, and didn’t pull that “I never heard of that before” crap that some agents do when hearing about any problem whatsoever. He was everything a good agent should be, which isn’t asking so much.

He asked me some very specific questions about the problems. Even took seriously the CPU whine complaint. I told him I was pessimistic about it getting fixed but I know that some people have MBPs that are “much quieter than mine.”

As usual, we’ll see how it goes.

Score for the past two weeks: Good Apples – 2; Bad Apples – 1. Stay tuned for more (but hopefully not too many more!) details.

The good news is my MacBook Pro is coming back to me. It left Texas at around 6:00AM this morning. The bad news is I don’t know whether it’s fixed or not. In any case, I’ll be happy to move on to the next phase of this process. If it’s still busted, then I’ll be pushing for a refund or (if they want to gamble on it) a replacement. While it’s not very encouraging that new owners of MacBook Pros are still reporting the CPU whine, I have heard that it is at least quieter on some than on others. Perhaps quieter would be marginally acceptable to me. Otherwise, I’ll wait and hope that the MacBook or a later Pro edition is more suitable for “quiet work.”

John Siracusa over at FatBits wrote a great article a month or so ago, validating the the noise complaints people are having with Apple’s recent products. Today he passes along information from one of his astute readers about a job opening at Apple for an analog engineer. The job listing was posted in February, mere months after the final designs on the MacBook Pro must have been completed. The job listing includes specific language about DC converters and power supply design for desktop and mobile computers. These are the apparent culprits in the “CPU whine” category of annoying noises.

I can’t help but read into this job listing. Does it mean that Apple had a person filling this role who didn’t cut the mustard? Or are there several engineers in this capacity all working together to come up with solutions? Did they just realize in February, after all the Apple executives started toting around MacBook Pros, that the problem was as bad as it is?

Here is the history of the last several thousand dollars I have given money, along with a brief description of the quality of the product:

1. iPod 40GB – $300. My girlfriend’s iPod. Works perfectly. Changed her life.
2. PowerMac G5 – $2500. Big, pretty, fast, reliable. Makes a high pitched chirping noise that will drive me out of my effing mind if I don’t run a script to “disable CPU napping.” Sticks in my craw as the “top of the line Mac that will forever require an annoying hardware workaround.”
3. iPod Nano – $250. Small, beautiful, doesn’t even scratch too much in my pocket. My only complaint is that I can’t unplug the dock cable while the headphones are plugged in. I use it to listen to Podcasts every day. Changed my life.

4. ADC Membership – 2 Years. $1000. Reliable access to pre-release software. Hardware discount on price of defective MacBook Pro. Responsive tech support representatives. All in all a good deal – especially if you’re buying hardware.
5. MacBook Pro – $2000. Sleek, fast, beautiful. Innovative design. Brilliant Intel-native software blazes and rocks my world. Noisier than any computer I’ve used since my dad’s Kaypro IV.

Seems the more money I give Apple, the less satisfied I am. The two most expensive products listed above are the two that have caused me the most grief. Shouldn’t Apple be making customers of its $2500 products as giddy as customers of its $200 ones? Perhaps my determination to not rest with this defective MacBook Pro is the result of Apple “using up its pass” with me on the G5. It’s been a long time since I owned a Mac that didn’t have an irritating aural defect. It surprises the hell out of me that a company with a self-proclaimed audiophile and perfectionist as a leader could allow these products to continue eroding Apple’s reputation for highest quality.

Have you ever stood at the top of a large cliff, or peered over the edge of a bridge, and curiously wondered what it would feel like to jump? Not suicidal – just indulgent curiosity. It’s the kind of thinking that makes you take a step back and double-check your grip on reality. I do know that I would never do that, right? Lately my thinking about the Mac has led me to such frightening thought experiments as “what if I lose confidence in Macs and abandon them? Can I get used to Windows?” This isn’t likely to happen. I’m so incredibly dependent on the Mac OS X software and the Apple development APIs, that I would essentially be giving up computing if I abandoned Macs. I don’t want to use any other computer.

I don’t want to use any other computer, yet I’ve indulged in the curiosity of whether I would. Apple is pushing me to that point. I’m not jumping ship yet, but I need a hero. I need an analog system designer of utmost skill and confidence – somebody who can save Apple’s computer business. If I end up buying a third top-of-the-line computer with a completely ridiculous noise defect, it might be the last $2000+ Apple ever gets from me. And that would be sad. Where would I dock my iPod?

My MacBook Pro is still in Texas. But apparently they spent all day today “repairing it.” This sounds slightly better than the situation a friend is in, whose MacBook Pro went in for roughly the same problem, but is now on indefinite pause as he waits for a “part on order.” I can’t help but wonder what is so different about mine and his that we require different solutions. The only thing different about mine, that I can tell, is I complained about a whole lot more. Maybe they’re still reading through the list …

In my last post, I shared some rather silly statistics about Google and how many hits one receives for certain silly queries. I noticed over the past day or so that Google is sort of clogging my “referrals” list. I don’t know if this is because more people are searching on terms that I happen to match, or if my PageRank just went up. I think the PageRank for the blog itself might have just gone from 5 to 6. That’s cool. And I haven’t looked at the “search referrals” in my logs for a long time, but the recent influx caused me to do some examining.

It’s fascinating to pore over the list of search terms that people type in to ultimately reach your blog or site. I don’t think most users know that the exact phrase they enter gets transmitted in this way to the target site that is ultimately clicked-through to. It’s worth considering. If you’re interviewing for a job with Bob Jones, you might not want to type “How do I eff with Bob Jones in my interview tomorrow?” into Google the night before the interview, and then click-through to his personal blog. Just a little word to the wise.

Sometimes I worry that my obsession with the MacBook Pro noise flaws is unnatural. You know, maybe I just got fixated on it and now I’m this cranky geek who can’t ignore it. Kind of like after my dad pointed out the Sony Trinitron lines (defects!) in our computer monitor when I was a kid. Damn it! I never did much like Trinitrons after that. But it’s kind of reassuring (and saddening, at the same time) to browse through my search referrals and see just how frequent people are desperately typing MacBook Pro related queries into search engines. As I looked through my logs, I tried to think of how I could best convey the magnitude of queries that exist, and how clearly frustrated and at a loss the public is to find an answer to these problems. There’s no way I could do it, so I decided the best thing to do would be to just show you exactly what it looks like.

Here are my last 500 search referrals. Now, I know a lot of them have absolutely nothing to do with MacBook Pro or noises associated with them. But a lot of them do. people are spending their quality time searching on this. This is not what people like to Google. They’d rather look up themselves, their friends, porn, or world of warcraft tips. Instead they’re looking up MacBook Pro noises, hissing, humming, buzzing, etc. And keep in mind that these results span a relatively short period of time (less than 48 hours), and only consist of clicks that actually made it through to my little site. Multiply this over every day (and probably different users every day), and you start to understand how disappointing, how personally infuriating these defects are to those of us who expect the highest quality product from Apple.

My favorite quote? “Stop the cow macbook pro.” I couldn’t agree more.

060418 20:46:04	macbook pro noise problem /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 20:42:28	macbook pro noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:39:31	quietmbp /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 20:37:01	firewire noise whine sound /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 20:35:44	NSNotification observer /66/helping-myself-and-others	Google
060418 20:35:12	macbook whine isight /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:34:56	macbook pro whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:27:44	High-Pitched Sound MacBook Pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 20:23:39	macbook pro humming /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:18:31	QuietMBP /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 20:18:20	macbook battery life /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 20:14:29	itunes movie chapters /84/fake-video-with-itunes-chapter-markers	Google
060418 20:12:19	macbook noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:11:20	macbook pro noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 20:08:03	cooling fan in iBook will not turn off /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 20:03:40	automatic subversion version number build number /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060418 19:59:53	macbook pro noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 19:58:10	macbook pro moo /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 19:50:33	export netflix queue /99/netnewsflix	Google
060418 19:47:40	macbook 108 /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 19:42:11	ADC Documentation Bomb /104/adc-documentation-bomb	Google
060418 19:40:29	macbook whine /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 19:31:29	Macbook pro noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 19:31:14	red sweater blog /	Google
060418 19:20:21	mac book pro manual cd eject /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 19:16:03	MACBOOk whining /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 19:15:43	stop the cow macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 19:14:52	nerd out /17/nerd-out-with-gdb/feed/	Google
060418 19:14:26	AppleScript get current URL from Safari /30/safari-link-sniffing	Google
060418 18:56:58	red sweater /	Google
060418 18:54:48	photo booth – stunt software mac download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 18:54:38	incremental backups useless /60/backups-are-useless	Google
060418 18:54:01	setting network domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 18:53:29	mac screen brightness waste battery /	Google
060418 18:52:34	when opening quicktime i get a question mark /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 18:50:12	macbook pro wake from sleep /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 18:47:25	quiet mbp /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Yahoo
060418 18:42:54	Macbook Pro heat issue /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 18:39:21	macpro noise /117/macbook-pro-noise-customer-sensory-issues	Google
060418 18:38:04	macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 18:35:46	macbook whine utility /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 18:30:19	loud cd drive MacBook Pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 18:27:49	macbook noise issues /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 18:27:43	how to use magic noise killer /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles/feed/	Google
060418 18:24:34	mirror widget hack /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 18:22:09	MagicNoiseKiller /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 18:21:42	magic noise killer /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 18:20:48	macbook problems buzzing fix mnk /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 18:19:53	Mac Book pro whine /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 18:17:26	xcode progress indicator example /?p=85	Google
060418 18:17:09	macbook problems buzzing fix /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 18:16:59	safari back /21/safari-back-out-of-mistake/feed/	Google
060418 18:14:16	screen goes white when laptop gets hot /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 18:11:21	hacking isight /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 18:06:57	magicnoisekiller /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 18:05:56	milliamp-hours calculator /96/google-calculator/feed/	Google
060418 18:03:49	mosquito noise machine /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 18:03:13	macbook pro heat problem fixed /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 17:59:51	network domain setup /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 17:57:06	macbook pro widgets /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 17:48:55	noise macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 17:44:25	mbp processor noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 17:38:51	mac book pro noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	MSN
060418 17:30:27	netinfo afp authentication /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 17:21:54	whine macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 17:21:11	netinfo webdav vfstype /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 17:21:10	something red sweater /	Google
060418 17:11:37	macbook pro disable cpu /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 17:10:00	hack ichat video /	Google
060418 17:08:58	Revision D Macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 17:08:16	macbook pro noises /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 17:01:00	macbook pro noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 16:58:16	macbook pro problems /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 16:57:18	macbook pro power consumption /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 16:49:54	priority club /118/remembering-apple-the-start-date	Google
060418 16:49:54	macbook xp mic fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:45:50	what do black holes do except suck things in? /87/documentation-sucks	Google
060418 16:42:01	finding lost bookmarks in safari /78/grr-izon	Google
060418 16:35:53	macbook pro whine replace /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 16:35:03	is my ipod fake? /84/fake-video-with-itunes-chapter-markers	Google
060418 16:30:31	hidden NSWindow /97/windows-of-perception	Google
060418 16:26:48	does the apple store replace macbook pro for processor hiss /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:24:36	what fans are inside the macbook /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:22:09	amazon macbook pro revision D /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:21:34	MacBook buzzing noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:16:34	subversion revision tags /?p=23	Google
060418 16:16:03	sharing os x address book via webdav /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 16:14:20	macbook issues /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 16:13:36	WHAT IS A NETWORK DOMAIN /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 16:08:36	mirror widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 16:06:32	mbp noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 16:05:29	macbook pro dock /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 15:58:10	macbook hiss /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 15:52:19	thinkpad faint noise problem high frequency /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 15:50:50	solutions for macbook whine /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 15:50:04	regular expression finder /26/rock-the-funky-finder-regex	Google
060418 15:43:15	System/Library/Extensions/IOPlatformPluginFamily.kext /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro/feed/	Google
060418 15:42:59	macbook pro whining /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 15:39:39	update itunes library on shared network library /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 15:38:29	macbook pro buzzing /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 15:31:43	macbook lcd noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 15:31:34	macbook pro blog /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 15:27:34	macbook inverter buzz /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 15:27:01	macbook pro trackpad problem /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 15:25:17	QuietMBP /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 15:23:55	create a favorites section /63/add-a-favorites-section-to-xcode-file-templates	Google
060418 15:12:19	skype cocoa mac /80/an-skype-like-app-with-open-source-roots	Google
060418 15:12:07	xcode trap exceptions /67/xcode-search-gone-mad	Google
060418 15:11:59	mac book pro becomes hot /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 15:09:44	new shell process completed help /48/victory-over-process-completed	Google
060418 15:09:26	Network Mount Mac OS X /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 15:06:22	tomshardware macbook pro /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro/feed/	Google
060418 15:03:39	Built-in iSight Camera macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 15:00:21	macbook pro 3 partitions /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 14:53:52	BuzzKiller MagicNoiseKiller /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests/feed/	Google
060418 14:47:16	paul tiger /106/the-network-domain/feed/	Google
060418 14:44:25	MacBook Pro Hard Drive Noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 14:42:58	trac subversion cvs /22/the-bumpy-road-to-subversion	Google
060418 14:42:37	macbook pro whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 14:40:01	MacBook Pro Firmware update /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 14:33:28	Whine MBP /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 14:32:08	create domain name for local network in os x /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 14:31:15	mac book pro noise speakers /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 14:30:02	mac book pro whining /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 14:25:24	macbook pro heat hardware version /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 14:19:59	mac book pro 8613 /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 14:17:46	os x network library alias /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 14:17:08	macbook pro whine widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 14:06:27	hot macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 13:54:55	macbook pro rev.e /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:53:12	program for macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 13:51:01	macbook 8612 /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:49:33	macbook download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:43:43	macbook pro hard drive noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 13:43:16	macbook pro updates /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 13:42:40	windows network mac the alias could not be opened /106/the-network-domain/feed/	Google
060418 13:40:31	macbook pro isight driver /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:39:22	macbook intel hard disk keeps running energy saving /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 13:33:04	macbook pro not responding to battery /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 13:30:59	magic noise mac /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:30:19	macbook whine isight /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 13:29:00	MagicNoiseKiller download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 13:25:12	MagNoiseKiller /comments/feed/	Google
060418 13:20:33	mac book pro noise problem /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 13:11:44	my screen saver keeps coming back during login /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 13:10:49	macbook pro noise battery power /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 13:08:10	xcode run log has no output /81/really-simple-consolation	Google
060418 13:02:01	macbook tomshardware /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 12:58:14	qt_export /84/fake-video-with-itunes-chapter-markers/feed/	Google
060418 12:58:03	macbook pro whine fixed /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 12:51:54	xcode run.log broken /page/3/	Google
060418 12:49:10	xcode dynamic libraries /56/xcode-22-quickies	Google
060418 12:47:51	macbook pro cpu noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 12:43:23	xcode no log bug /67/xcode-search-gone-mad	Google
060418 12:41:10	info.plist keys /32/destroy-xcode-tedium	Google
060418 12:41:05	macbook pro help /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 12:35:19	how to get rid of macbook pro whine /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 12:28:45	Express Card Slot /88/intel-impatience/feed/	Google
060418 12:15:15	apple notebook just make a crashing noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 12:09:41	DOES A Petabyte HARD DRIVE EXIST /60/backups-are-useless	Google
060418 12:07:59	subversion installation /22/the-bumpy-road-to-subversion/feed/	Google
060418 11:51:22	whining sound macbook pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:51:07	setting up webdav os x server 10.4 /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 11:44:01	computadoras dell /?p=69	Yahoo
060418 11:37:12	macbook pro high pitch noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:34:17	macbook pro noise miracles widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:29:43	turning off processor for Macbook pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:26:01	loud noises coming from the macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 11:25:37	MacBook Pro noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 11:24:32	macbook laser /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 11:21:16	macbook pro whining isight firmware /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 11:15:00	setting up os x server domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 11:14:56	applescript droplet /31/self-opening-applescript-droplets	Google
060418 11:14:24	hacking aac files /84/fake-video-with-itunes-chapter-markers	Google
060418 11:13:26	blog intel /category/technology/intel/	Google
060418 11:10:25	macbook pro built-in isight drivers /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:08:39	macbook repair whine /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 11:07:10	macbook hard drive noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:06:41	whining macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 11:06:33	macbook Speaker Defective /117/macbook-pro-noise-customer-sensory-issues	Google
060418 11:06:01	macbook whinning /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 11:05:10	macbook fan /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 11:01:57	macbook mooing /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 11:01:10	quietMBP download /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 10:53:51	macbook cpu noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 10:53:29	what is a network domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 10:43:42	macbook pro rev.e sn /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 10:36:13	iemulator 1.7.9 /86/noooooooooo/feed/	Google
060418 10:34:18	whine macbook pro replacement /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 10:31:04	I believe in miracles /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	MSN
060418 10:25:14	how to turn off core in macbook /107/macbook-pro-noise-update/feed/	Google
060418 10:04:28	macbook pro issue /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 10:01:23	fw800 Express Card /88/intel-impatience/feed/	Google
060418 09:59:33	UNIX – steps for setting up a network share /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 09:50:14	magic widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 09:47:07	Magicnoisekiller /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 09:43:54	mac magicnoisekiller /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 09:40:33	macbook pro noise cow /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 09:34:58	watching video in Linux /84/fake-video-with-itunes-chapter-markers	Google
060418 09:30:49	macbook pro noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 09:29:46	sudo mv /System/Library/Extensions/IOPlatformPluginFamily.kext /backup /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro/feed/	Google
060418 09:26:59	cpu noise macbook /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 09:25:20	mirror widget quiet mbp /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 09:11:20	blog wordpress mac /91/wordpress-20	Google
060418 09:10:33	macbook pro disable a core /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 09:10:01	macbook pro whine play /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 09:08:15	ichat status screen saver chud /feed/	Google
060418 09:05:23	ichat screen saver chud /	Google
060418 09:00:34	mac book pro defects /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 08:55:51	fix MacBook Pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 08:55:05	daniel jalkut /	Google
060418 08:53:22	silica gel what to do swallow /95/a-word-of-caution	Google
060418 08:42:22	why syslog showing up in console shell /?p=81	Google
060418 08:41:08	what is that buzzing macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 08:39:19	red sweater macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 08:18:02	mac book pro whine noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 08:17:57	macbook pro battery time /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 08:13:56	macbook pro buzzing noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 08:09:23	macbook pro battery tests /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 07:59:02	useful problems macbook pro reinstall /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 07:54:55	mac book pro whining problem /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 07:51:43	netflix rss feed blog /99/netnewsflix	Google
060418 07:51:38	macbook pro hissing workaround /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 07:42:45	setting up macbook pro for audio /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 07:36:53	macbook noise issue /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 07:32:00	setting up a network apple /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 07:30:05	macbook pro fixed issues /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 07:24:02	macbook screen goes black /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 07:21:03	set domain on os x /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 07:16:01	1145367555 /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 07:06:29	anybody bought macbook pro? /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 06:56:51	macbook update /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 06:55:20	macbook pro whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 06:54:18	Info.plist system variables /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode/feed/	Google
060418 06:52:19	domain macosx share /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 06:50:46	macbook xp power management /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 06:46:56	MacBook Pro heat problem /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 06:37:09	macbook pro magic /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 06:28:56	iPhoto the volume cannot be found /106/the-network-domain/feed/	Google
060418 06:24:33	nidump domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 06:21:21	Issues and various point of hacking /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 06:04:02	macbook pro humming on battery power /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 05:56:42	noisy screen macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 05:42:10	macbook pro inverter noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 05:32:46	Faults with macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 05:21:49	macbook bootcamp sound driver /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 05:16:12	http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 05:13:17	mac book pro electric noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 05:06:49	A comment on Gulliver s Travels /92/easy-endian-ness	Google
060418 05:06:16	revision d problems macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 04:51:24	macbook pro electrical noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 04:46:32	how to fix whinning sound macbook pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 04:40:08	magic noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 04:29:09	chud tools cpu whine /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 04:25:37	quiet macbook /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 04:21:37	XRAID PC COMPATIBILITY /69/adis-a-las-computadoras-dell	Google
060418 04:14:56	macbook cpu clock utility /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 04:04:34	macbook pro faults /107/macbook-pro-noise-update/feed/	Google
060418 03:59:07	electric shock macbook pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 03:58:55	buzzing macbook /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 03:51:17	osx library directory iphoto /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 03:50:14	macbook noise heat /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 03:48:39	mac os network disappears /106/the-network-domain	Google
060418 03:44:47	Additionally a 302 Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. /50/be-a-web-browser-for-halloween	Google
060418 03:25:31	macbook pro isight on xp driver download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 02:56:46	macbook power management /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 02:43:03	milliseconds to seconds calculator /96/google-calculator	Google
060418 02:39:44	macbook pro update /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 02:31:31	macbook pro sounds /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 02:29:00	redsweater blog /91/wordpress-20	Google
060418 02:22:04	inside open macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 02:12:26	mbp display noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 02:03:05	macbook pro noise blog /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 01:58:22	Mac Book Pro revisions /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060418 01:52:57	live preview visitor keystrokes blog /52/fixing-keychain-look-ma-no-code	Google
060418 01:52:17	macbook pro battery issue after firmware update /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060418 01:44:31	macbook pro whine fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060418 01:43:52	consolation messages /?p=81	Google
060418 01:36:43	magic noise killer download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 01:33:15	macbook pro cpu whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 01:12:43	macbook pro hissing noise problem /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060418 01:09:05	regulating fan macbook /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 01:03:58	http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/macbook-pro-noise-complaints/ /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060418 00:57:41	red sweater b log /	Google
060418 00:50:31	how to buy Gesture keyboard /61/a-mighty-mistake/feed/	Google
060418 00:49:10	intel mac cpu noise /	Google
060418 00:45:58	applescript attribute run /46/blogging-with-style	Google
060418 00:23:42	quietMBP /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060418 00:14:49	mac widget lego error /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 23:58:08	xcode svn build directory /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060417 23:46:52	macbook pro whine issues /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 23:41:08	macbook pro trackpad scroll tilt /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 23:40:10	macbook whine killing program /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 23:08:51	magicnoisekiller 10.4.6 /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 23:07:53	perl regex error quantifier followed by nothing in regex /26/rock-the-funky-finder-regex	Google
060417 23:06:42	MacBook Pro sound problem fixes /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 23:02:52	macbook pro cooling upgrade /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 22:52:25	adding an accidentally deleted podcast itunes /62/a-home-for-wayward-podcasts	Google
060417 22:38:09	weird noises macbookpro /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 22:29:09	adding an AppleScript to an Xcode project /32/destroy-xcode-tedium	Google
060417 22:13:50	xcode subversion /22/the-bumpy-road-to-subversion	Google
060417 21:52:21	macbook moo /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 21:40:41	creating a subversion repo /22/the-bumpy-road-to-subversion	Google
060417 21:33:20	quiet macbook pro /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 21:21:58	my macbook pro makes a weird noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 21:21:55	mac book pro cpu noise fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 21:21:46	How many hours does the macbook pro battery last /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 21:19:17	mac book pro cpu noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 21:17:35	heat macbook fix /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 21:10:06	macbook pro processor whine /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 20:49:35	mugshot flickr /83/magical-code	Google
060417 20:42:56	mac book pro\noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 20:24:08	how to setup mac server 10.4 to publish ical /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 20:14:57	mac book pro high frequency fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 20:07:21	MAC BOOK PRO GETTING VERY HOT /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 20:03:17	seagate hard drive squeaking http://red-sweater.com/blog/index.php	Google
060417 19:58:32	ibook bright spots /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 19:56:51	macbook pro whine sample /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 19:47:35	maCBOOK NOISE /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 19:41:11	open dashboard widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 19:00:54	macbook pro whine photo booth /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 18:55:51	macbook noise red /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 18:51:31	daniel jalkut radar /51/keychain-inaccessibility	Google
060417 18:46:07	macbook pro dock -ipod /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 18:43:50	macbook temperature /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 18:42:51	macbook pro screen complaints /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 18:41:15	tilt macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 18:39:36	macbook pro processor heat /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 18:37:09	install magic noise killer /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles/feed/	Google
060417 18:33:47	powerbook pro command line /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 18:18:54	mirror widget bad for isight /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 18:10:41	replacing hard drive in macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 18:08:41	interface builder autosizing /35/lazy-parent-views	Google
060417 17:42:18	macbook pro cpu tool /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Yahoo
060417 17:32:09	macbook pro trackpad problems /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 17:31:10	macbook pro complaints /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 17:29:27	why mirror widget audio /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 17:26:57	macbook pro fan noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 17:23:53	apple mighty mouse defect /61/a-mighty-mistake	Google
060417 17:18:56	macbook inverter /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 17:15:04	leave in macbook pro case /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 17:14:55	gdb macro /?p=17	Google
060417 17:13:42	macbook pro heat issues /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 17:11:25	dim noise macbookpro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 17:07:43	exporting netflix queue /99/netnewsflix	Google
060417 17:03:31	macbook pro noise fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 17:01:57	macbook pro processor noise fix /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 17:01:14	turn off green led on isight macbook /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 16:51:13	are desiccant packs dangerous /95/a-word-of-caution	MSN
060417 16:50:49	macbook pro hiss /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 16:30:43	macbook pro whining noise /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 16:22:15	noise issues with macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 16:18:24	whining macbook pro fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 16:15:52	macbook heat /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 16:11:29	quiet MBP /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 16:09:56	macbook noise mirror /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 16:07:39	build scripts in xcode /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060417 16:06:16	hard c4e /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 16:03:44	macbook left fan /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 16:02:44	no menus fear /97/windows-of-perception/feed/	Google
060417 16:01:54	curl emulate web browser cookie jar /50/be-a-web-browser-for-halloween	Google
060417 15:57:57	macbook pro too hot /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 15:54:41	domain OS X /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 15:52:42	macbook quicktime .mov no sound /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 15:48:31	macbookpro screensaver work windows xp boot camp /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 15:44:15	macbook QUIET /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 15:21:08	macbook pro red sweater /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 14:39:54	macbook whine disable a core /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 14:39:18	curl cookiejar /50/be-a-web-browser-for-halloween	Google
060417 14:38:47	cool macbook pro tricks /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 14:37:51	macbook pro MNK forum /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 14:37:24	MacBook Pro hard drive noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 14:19:19	macbook delete logon /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 14:15:33	interface builder size /65/center-windows-in-interface-builder	Google
060417 14:14:44	managing podcasts itunes sucks /62/a-home-for-wayward-podcasts	Google
060417 14:06:49	CPU Clock MacBook Pro /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 14:02:03	CPU Clock for Apple MacBook Pro /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 13:57:46	noisy macbook pro /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 13:56:53	macbook inverter noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 13:55:41	Magic Noise Killer Macbook /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 13:35:08	programmer gone mad /67/xcode-search-gone-mad/feed/	Google
060417 13:32:25	cryptonome noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 13:32:24	macbook pro speaker problems /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 13:29:15	apple quiet script /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-very-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 13:23:44	Gesture Keyboard buy /61/a-mighty-mistake/feed/	Google
060417 13:22:30	NSTimer /64/throttling-nsslider/feed/	Google
060417 13:17:39	MacBook Pro Noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 13:15:51	upgrade MacBook Pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 12:59:25	setting up address network directory /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 12:53:31	computer just quit power supply makes clicking noise /	Google
060417 12:42:37	MagicNoiseKiller /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 12:41:55	cpu whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 12:35:51	macbook pro mike minard /feed/	Google
060417 12:32:33	macbook pro fix /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 12:30:33	photo booth on a powermac /page/2/	Google
060417 12:27:17	apple employment blog /55/apple-employee-silenced-by-self	Google
060417 12:22:23	macbook pro noise remover /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 12:22:15	millisecond to microseconds calculator /96/google-calculator	Google
060417 12:16:00	macbook pro firmware upgrade /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 12:14:44	lawsuit macbook pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 12:14:17	how to setup a network with a domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 12:11:16	simulating mozilla openssl /50/be-a-web-browser-for-halloween	Google
060417 12:10:31	setting up network itunes library /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 12:07:35	shark bites /?p=41	MSN
060417 12:04:29	kids eating silica gel packages /95/a-word-of-caution	Google
060417 12:02:04	subversion inserting id string in checked files /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060417 12:00:46	macbook noises /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 12:00:23	dell power adapter hacks /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 11:57:20	mac book pro display dim corners /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 11:50:41	red herring sweater /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 11:50:09	Apple Software Interview Questions /55/apple-employee-silenced-by-self	Google
060417 11:48:14	Xcode Number of recently open projects /32/destroy-xcode-tedium	Google
060417 11:44:41	macbook dashboard widget /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 11:39:49	mav pro buzz /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 11:35:49	macbook hot repair /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 11:31:33	Magicnoisekiller download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 11:21:27	problems with the Mac Pro laptop pad /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 11:18:33	macbook pro inverter board location /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 11:17:33	automount webdav os x /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 11:17:32	macbook pro battery life /111/macbook-pro-noise-battery-life-tests	Google
060417 11:13:26	wordpress style tag disappears in post /94/live-preview-or-die	Google
060417 11:10:48	macbook pro heat lawsuit /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 11:04:35	macbook pro hacks /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 10:59:54	high pitch noise macbook /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 10:58:38	macbook pro noise revision D /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 10:37:43	skype like programs /80/an-skype-like-app-with-open-source-roots	Google
060417 10:30:44	dice widget dashboard /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 10:27:13	Macbook Pro random restarts /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 10:26:51	os x network domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 10:16:11	mac book pro whining noise /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 10:13:54	macbook pro makes buzzing sound /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 10:13:17	xcode svn versioning /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060417 10:11:47	macbook pro buzzing sound /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 10:01:14	upgrade macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 09:59:48	whining noise with macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 09:57:00	mac OS X DOMAIN Settings /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 09:45:08	magicnoisekiller download /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 09:42:09	electric shock on mac book pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 09:38:01	macbook pro microphone /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 09:34:38	battery life check apple script /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 09:27:40	whine macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 09:23:32	whining noise update /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 09:23:23	Mirror widget whine /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 09:14:41	blogs about macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 09:12:37	red sweater san francisco /category/web/	Google
060417 09:03:23	MBP noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 08:59:00	iphoto change network mount /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 08:45:47	netnewswire subscribe bookmarklet /103/announcing-dinky-links	Google
060417 08:39:23	Mirror Widget /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 08:37:04	high pitched noise usb power management /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 08:35:37	macbook pro hissing noise /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 08:29:25	magic mac book pro whine /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 08:24:52	NOOOOOOOOOO /86/noooooooooo	Google
060417 08:21:53	macbook-pro heat recall /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 08:14:45	interface builder center window /65/center-windows-in-interface-builder	Google
060417 08:11:56	Be True to Your Work – Short plays /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-very-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 08:02:43	macbook moo charging /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 08:02:32	sendAction cocoa /64/throttling-nsslider	Yahoo
060417 08:01:14	download high pitched mosquito /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 07:56:22	macbook pro processor noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 07:54:49	macbook pro whine screen /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 07:49:38	network domain /106/the-network-domain	Google
060417 07:48:07	display noise macbook pro /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 07:31:53	qa /index.php?s=qa	localhost
060417 07:29:11	mac app development hid usb api /89/hideous-adventures-with-open-source	Google
060417 07:20:06	macbook battery whine /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 07:18:45	c1e activate /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 07:16:54	Software problems on macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 07:11:06	another term for an open bug fix no completed /67/xcode-search-gone-mad	Google
060417 07:09:41	subversion unique build id /23/automatic-build-sub-versioning-in-xcode	Google
060417 07:08:03	macbook pro temperature sensors /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 07:03:34	rightmark macbook /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 07:03:26	computer stop working after running partition magic /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 07:00:32	macbook pro left fan /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 06:57:24	red sweater mac /	Google
060417 06:47:13	regex and shell scripts /26/rock-the-funky-finder-regex	Google
060417 06:43:12	macbook pro high pitched noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 06:16:39	macbook pro noise killer /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 06:15:56	magicnoisekiller update /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 06:14:21	NSPanel not modal /85/kagi-universal	Google
060417 06:06:36	USB bulk sample source /89/hideous-adventures-with-open-source/feed/	Google
060417 06:00:10	switch red conection /97/windows-of-perception	MSN
060417 05:54:26	macbook pro early adopters /macbook-pro-noise-complaints/	Google
060417 05:51:48	macbook pro brightness /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 05:46:31	g5 noise chud /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 05:27:30	macbook fan /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 05:17:25	cocoa applescript category /category/programming/applescript/	Google
060417 05:15:28	converting int to NSString in objective c /98/string-theory	Google
060417 05:10:31	web text tcpdump /50/be-a-web-browser-for-halloween	Google
060417 05:00:11	mac book pro noise killer /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 04:57:34	macbook pro noise screen /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 04:53:19	cpu clock c1e source code /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 04:45:50	IOPlatformPluginFamily /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro/feed/	Google
060417 04:20:22	powermac g5 fan control widget /105/all-work-and-no-play-makes-a-quiet-macbook-pro	Google
060417 04:14:44	objective c converting int to NSString /98/string-theory	Google
060417 04:01:12	leave mnemonic intel assembler /70/assembler-instruction-reference	Google
060417 03:48:01	mbp quiet /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 03:33:27	macbook pro models without noise /108/macbook-pro-noise-i-believe-in-miracles	Google
060417 03:30:04	noise on the macbook pro /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google
060417 03:21:12	electric shock mac book pro /113/macbook-pro-the-whining-user	Google
060417 02:45:22	quietMPB for powerbook /107/macbook-pro-noise-update	Google

]]> http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/123/macbook-pro-noise-stop-the-cow-macbook-pro/feed 19 http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/122/macbook-pro-noise-love-conquers-all http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/122/macbook-pro-noise-love-conquers-all#comments Mon, 17 Apr 2006 17:05:03 +0000 Daniel Jalkut http://www.red-sweater.com/blog/122/macbook-pro-noise-love-conquers-all

Just a minor update: my MacBook Pro has made it safely to Texas, and is being operated on (hopefully) as we speak!

As a diversion, while I wait patiently for my MacBook Pro to be put through the paces and ultimately returned to me (probably, alas, with CPU whine in-tact), I punched some silly phrases into Google, to measure sheer “hit count”:

This chart proves nothing. But it does motivate thinking. The word “macbook” is twenty times more likely to appear on the same web page with “hate” or “noise” than it is with “aardvark.”

And if that ain’t science, then I don’t want to be a scientist.

I was getting increasingly anxious to finally bite the bullet and pursue repair and/or replacement of my defective MacBook Pro. I have held off for a while hoping that Apple would get its story straight and hopefully have a comprehensive, time and cost effective method for dealing with these complaints. After the initial experience of calling and scheduling a product return, I will say that I’m pretty pessimistic that all of my problems will be fixed, but I’m hoping for the best.

Making the Call

I was inspired to finally call when Tom Harrington told me about his experience reporting similar (though not quite as extensive) problems. Something about the courage of numbers or something. After I called, I also noticed a good write-up by Jason O’Grady on the subject of his similar experience. In my opinion, the more people who speak openly about this problem and the results of pursuing a solution, the better.

Here’s how my process went. I called up AppleCare and got a very friendly, sympathetic representative, who dutifully wrote down every last smidgen of detail I recited to her (for the record, I only complained about display buzz, display squeal, cpu whine, mooing, and heat). I asked her up-front if it made sense, given that I was going to reveal a laundry list of MBP issues, that I be transferred to a “product specialist.” She let me know that if that were to happen she would have to provide them with a written list of the complaints anyway, so I went through that process with her.

It took about 15 minutes and when we were finished I was put on hold while she talked to the product specialist. I never actually got to talk to the specialist, but apparently my representative sort of relayed the facts of my problem to the specialist, and it was the specialist’s job to bat down as many of them as possible while essentially only admitting to the likelihood that the screen buzzing was the known screen inverter problem.

The verdict? “Send in the MacBook Pro for the display buzzing and hopefully everything else will magically get fixed as a side-effect.” Uh, yeah right. So I explained again as cordially as possible that I understand the process a little bit, and if I’m just going to end up sending it straight back in to Apple for further repairs, it might save us all a lot of time and money if she can emphasize my desire to get the other issues addressed.

In the end my tactic didn’t really work. After almost an hour total spent on the phone, I was given a dispatch number which would be used to track the repair process. Oh well. I’m really pessimistic that anything but the screen buzzing will be fixed on this round, but at least that will be a start, and marks the beginning of my due diligence in letting Apple repair the defects of this computer.

An hour or two after the telephone call, I got an email confirmation, summarizing the gist of my complaint as “Customer Sensory Issues.” This was the same assessment Tom had received, and I think the fact that more than one of us has gotten this assessment betrays Apple’s failure to own up here. Maybe chalk this one up as another case of “unfortunate use of language,” but the problems here are not “customer sensory issues.” True, there would be no problem if I didn’t have senses, but if that were true I would also have no credit card. And $2000+ from that credit card would also not be sitting in Apple’s bank account right now. These are “MacBook Pro Noise Issues” – not customer sensory issues!

Pickup and Delivery

To Apple’s credit, they pay for all the shipping costs to and from the repair center, but the amount of time I had to dedicate to being at home just to make this happen I think embodies the reasons people hesitate to embark on the process. First, I had to wait for the delivery of the empty box. It was shipped “overnight” but I found out that it really means “within 2 business days.” I was so eager to be here for the delivery of the empty box, that I practically didn’t leave the house for the whole next day after calling AppleCare. Missing the box would mean an extra day of waiting! The first day passed and no box. Shucks! Fortunately, on the second day the doorbell rang at around 11:30AM and I ran down to make sure I took possession. Since I’m up on the third floor, it’s not unheard of for delivery people to give up and rush off before I’m even able to make it down there (we don’t have a buzzer or intercom). I raced down the stairs, my heart pounding, and thrust open the door.

The box was sitting alone on the porch. A yellow DHL truck revved off down the street.

Ah, quaint, trusting Somerville. I guess I didn’t have to be here at all. Hope they don’t leave it on the porch when it’s full! I took the box upstairs, opened it up, gave my MacBook Pro a final kiss goodbye, and packaged it according to instructions. I was especially impressed with this little tablet of individual packaging tape slices. Neat! My future best friend lay waiting in the box, now all I have to do is call DHL back and get them to pick it up!

I was hoping that maybe because DHL had just been here moments before, they might still be in the neighborhood to come back and pick it up. I guess it doesn’t work that way. I called at around 12:30AM and got an estimated pickup time of “by 6:00PM.” OK. that’s kind of a huge chunk of my day, but hopefully they’ll come early.

I sat around (working, but sitting around) all day waiting for that door bell so I could once again make the sprint down the stairs, this time with the precious cargo in tow. Hours passed and no doorbell. I occasionally feared that somehow I’d missed the doorbell, so I went downstairs to check for any sign of a stealth visit. No signs.

At 6:00PM – pretty much on the dot – I called the DHL number to see what was up. I didn’t particularly have anywhere to be, but I had postponed things like taking a shower all day so I could be present for this process. I’d just as soon out of “being DHL’s lap dog” mode, and back into my normal daily routine.

“Hi I’m just calling to check on the status of a scheduled pickup I made for today.”

“The system shows that the driver is on schedule to make the pickup by 7:00!”

“7:00? Oh, I must have misunderstood earlier. Hmm. Thanks.”

I hadn’t misunderstood. But I was trying to be nice. I didn’t want any chance of this pickup guy getting angry with me and purposely mishandling precious. Anyway, it was just another hour so I figured I’d wait it out and finally be done with it. When 7:00 rolled around, I starting getting irritated again. What the heck. This time I waited until 7:15, pacing around the living room and peering up and down the street for signs of the yellow truck. I called DHL again – I just wanted to make sure the driver didn’t check out for the day without picking up my package.

“The driver is running a little late today but it still shows he’s scheduled to make your pickup at 7:30″

MMmmmmmmkay. I guess a six hour window isn’t enough time to work with when picking up packages. I wouldn’t mind so much if they would just narrow it down a little or give me updates throughout the day. Like “there’s no chance in hell we’ll get there until after 5:00 so feel free to go out for lunch.” Even the DMV does a better job than this. At this point I’m pissed but still being polite on the phone. What if I had dinner plans or something? DHL is not winning my affection.

Finally at 7:45 (only 15 minutes late!) the driver rings the bell. I sprint down the stairs faster than ever, making as much noise as possible on the way. This is how I let the delivery guys know that I am not only home, but I’m completely insane. When I get to the door and open it, I see the driver wielding a portable bar-code reader. I rotate the box so that the scannable label faces him.

“I see you’ve done this before!” he says cheerfully.

“Heh.” I say, trying to remain upbeat and not knowing how to phrase “No, I’ve never done it before but I’m incredibly brilliant and I know what those magic guns you use are capable of.”

I continue making smalltalk, offer my sympathies to the driver as he complains that he still has several more pickups to make. He complains that there are too many one-way streets around here and he keeps getting lost. I feel sorry for him, but I also feel sorry for the several people after me on his list, who are also dancing around looking for yellow trucks to appear on the horizon.

Optimizing for Success

As I said earlier, the outlook is not great for my getting a completely repaired MacBook Pro. I got good lip service about the problems, but they were more eager to offer workarounds like “maybe you can make sure the micorophone is far away from the computer” when I offered reasonable circumstances in which the noises make the computer a less than Pro offering. Since the well-trained telephone staff seemed eager to dismiss all but the completely undeniable defects, I decided I better try to appeal to the techies themselves. So prior to sending off the MacBook, I made a few notable preparations.

First and foremost, I backed up every single bit of data that was in any way important to me. They can incinerate precious if they want to, as long as they send me a new one without noise. I am psychologically separated from that machine in particular. I never even installed the extra 1GB RAM I ordered, because I wanted to be sure it went into a machine that would be mine for a long time. If these noise issues are not fixed, I will be demanding a refund or a replacement. In the worst case scenario, I guess I’ll be stuck with 1GB of RAM and no laptop to use it in.

After archiving my own stuff (I left an encrypted copy of my home directory on the disk, for my convenience if I do get the same one back), I went to setting up the “optimum techie user account.” When you’re on the phone with Apple, they’ll ask for your login and password. Instead of giving it to them, just ensure them that you’ve set the machine up to auto-login when it boots. I added an account “apple” with password “apple” and hint “The password is ‘apple’.” I set this account up as the auto-login account. There. A fresh clean space for the techie to enjoy my laptop’s flaws in.

After setting up the techie account, it occurred to me that I might improve my chances of success if I improved the odds of the techie observing the heinousness of the problem. In particular, the CPU whine seems to be the most disputed of flaws by Apple. Reports across the web paraphrase Apple as basically dismissing the noise as “within Apple spec.” My earliest hack at quieting the noise was a little program called “QuietMBP,” which utilized the CPU at varying levels such that the noise was eliminated or extremely diminished. Now, a side-effect of QuietMBP is that you can also adjust the slider “the wrong way” and hear the noise. But when the slider is midway, it turns out there is a sweet spot of pain, where the noise is even worse than it is when the machine is completely idle. This demonstrates the “worst possible scenario.” It’s not exactly realistic that the machine will always be in this state, but then again it’s not exactly unrealistic. It’s just a program using the CPU. There’s no reason to think that Photoshop or some other program might not use the CPU with such a pattern as to maximize the noies.

I decided to set up QuietMBP in “noisy” mode, and configure it to start automatically with the “apple” account logs in. In place of the usual text in the QuietMBP dialog, I added a direct plea to the techie. I explained what the program was there for and suggested that until the slider can be moved from one extreme to the other with no audible noise, the machine was still defective. I also made it clear that I would be returning any machine that didn’t pass this obvious test of “fixedness.” As bitchy as this may sound in the blog, I was a bit more tactful in the actual text.

I also decided the techie might not be familiar with my blog and the work I’d done to get to the bottom of these problems. So I configured Safari to automatically launch as well, and positioned its window so that it would appear next to (not obscuring) the QuietMBP window. A perfect little “entree” to the problem at hand. Since I couldn’t rely on the techie being connected to the web, I downloaded a local copy of just the main summary page, and set that as the “home page” for Safari. Et voila:

(Click for full size view)

If everything goes well, the techie will be staring at the above screen while also noticing a hideous high pitched chatter coming from the left side of the machine. If the techie cares at all, he or she can also pursue the questions raised in my blog, after connecting to the internet or on another machine. It may not make the slightest bit of difference, but I figure there’s at least a small chance that the techie will be touched by this problem, and become independently dedicated to making my MBP well.

Please, Apple Techie! Fix my MacBook Pro! Heck, fix them all!